Growing up I was raised Catholic. I was baptized as Catholic. I believed in God and I went to church on Sunday’s and went to my communion when told to. I never really felt like I was dedicated to God though. After my first communion, I stopped going. Nobody forced me to go and I didn’t really want to.
Once I reached high school, I wandered from God’s path. I struggled to be the perfect daughter that I seemed I had to be. I wanted to be nothing less than the best I could be. I played sports, I got good grades, and I stayed active in the community as best as possible.
But I found myself struggling to make it through a whole day of school without crying. I quit hockey, and I was cut from the soccer team… I found myself questioning what is going on, where am I going in life. Then, I remembered, God has a plan.
And I found myself coaching a soccer and hockey team intead. I may not have been where I wanted to be, but I was making the best of the situation. I graduated and was accepted into a few different colleges, but had my heart set on Bemidji State University. I was so excited for the new slate. It turned out that my freshman year of college was worse than any year in high school…
Again I find myself questioning what is going on and why this is happening to me. Why would such a good person (in my eyes) be put through so much pain?
I decided to transfer… All the way from small town Minnesota to the city of Lexington. I soon found the desire to want to go to church and show my faith to the Lord. Once I transferred to UK, I joined Kappa Kappa Gamma and Lane of Roses came to the house to talk about it. Instantly I knew that this was my chance.
Then, I was introduced to CSF from my Big and right away fell in love. Soon, I found my love for God and faith again. I found myself wanting to go to church, dedicating my time to praying and thanking God for blessing me with my journey and the people in my life. I started writing down my thoughts, my worries, my happiness, and thanking Him. Before I knew it, I could feel God in my heart.
I can’t lie though, I have had my fair share of mistakes and faults. I never thought God would forgive me for the decisions I made when I was not following His path. I have always believed in Him, but I did not dedicate my time to Him. I made poor decisions and I did not want God to be disappointed in me. I have learned that He will forgive.
I still struggle daily with anxiety--and although I know He is there to help and take those worries away--I seem to forget that sometimes. Since I have started to follow God more closely, my anxiety has lessened and my love has grown. I thank God that He has been there to help me through my toughest days and bless me with my best days. He has shown me that every day is a blessing, whether I am at my calmest or at my most worried.
I think the most important thing I have learned is to love myself, because that is who God created me to be. I have accepted the things I think of as flaws and started to express the qualities I enjoy more frequently. Loving who I am has made me happier and a more joyful person. I carry my faith with me every where I go and I love it. I didn’t want my faith to be about just going to church and forgetting God when I left those walls; I wanted every day to be a blessing and for me to know that God is doing that for me. I have learned that this is what it is.
Every night I write down my blessings and my prayers. Every morning I wake up thankful for God. Along with my own faith, I have soon gained many friends and others who are there to support and pray for me or others when it is needed. You know those days where you question what you are doing or what God has planned for you? I have gained people in my life who help pray for me on those days, and I have not even met a majority of them. God brings those people into your life for a reason and it is one of the many reasons I am thankful for Him.
You know what is most amazing? Lane of Roses is a group dedicated to helping girls understand everything I have learned, everything I have just stated. I have never been more blessed than to find this group and the ladies that are apart of it, because they are there for everyone in time of need and in times of joy.
Read more stories like Sami's on the Lane of Roses Story Page