Dear Younger Me: Rebekah

If I could go back
to before all of this,
I would tell you I’m sorry
for giving in and making a mess.
I would tell you to try to be strong
Because the devil is wrong!
He wants you to believe
In the lies he does scheme!
I would tell you it isn’t worth it,
what you’re about to do.
That it comes with much pain.
Scars and heartache too.
That it’s more addicting than you could ever imagine.
Harder to get rid of than you could fathom.
It will haunt you for years to come,
even when you think you’ve won.
It will eat away at you
to a point you cannot bear.
The thoughts and all the lies
will leave you gasping for air.
If I could go back,
I would want so bad to protect you
from all that is to come.
But I would know in my heart it couldn’t be done.
For your mind was made up.
Decisions waged.
You knew what you needed to do
to complete the plan you had staged.
There was no talking you out of it.
You didn’t see it as wrong.
And no one ever noticed
the struggles you had for so long.
But if I could go back
to where I was then,
I would tell you someone did notice
what was going on within.
His heart was breaking,
with every fallen tear.
He wanted to hold you,
But you wanted to steer.
To control your own life…
You thought you could.
But if I could go back
I would tell you that you should…
Give it all to Him.
It’s much better that way.
Instead of trying to do it yourself
and feeling like a failure everyday.
I would tell you
He wants you
more than you’ll ever know.
That He loves you,
oh how He loves you so!
How I wish I could go back
to before it all started,
to warn my 15 year-old self
it’s simply not worth it!
Maybe if I could go back,
I could convince you otherwise.
I could get that mind to believe
you are beautiful in His eyes.
And that’s all that matters:
to see what He sees.
You are His creation
and He wants you to be free.
Free
from all the lies,
the thoughts, the anxiety.
Free
from the disease
you gave in to all too easily.
I know I can’t save you from it.
History has already been made.
But I want you to know
Beauty rose from the ashes one day.
Your story was once entangled
with lies from the enemy.
But now you tell your story with confidence
Knowing God has set you
free!
Learn more about Rebekah by reading her story of how God helped her overcome an Eating Disorder.
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#insecurity #selfesteem #identity #bodyimage #rebekah #anxiety #hope