Dear Younger Me: Rebekah

If I could go back

to before all of this,

I would tell you I’m sorry

for giving in and making a mess.

I would tell you to try to be strong

Because the devil is wrong!

He wants you to believe

In the lies he does scheme!

I would tell you it isn’t worth it,

what you’re about to do.

That it comes with much pain.

Scars and heartache too.

That it’s more addicting than you could ever imagine.

Harder to get rid of than you could fathom.

It will haunt you for years to come,

even when you think you’ve won.

It will eat away at you

to a point you cannot bear.

The thoughts and all the lies

will leave you gasping for air.

If I could go back,

I would want so bad to protect you

from all that is to come.

But I would know in my heart it couldn’t be done.

For your mind was made up.

Decisions waged.

You knew what you needed to do

to complete the plan you had staged.

There was no talking you out of it.

You didn’t see it as wrong.

And no one ever noticed

the struggles you had for so long.

But if I could go back

to where I was then,

I would tell you someone did notice

what was going on within.

His heart was breaking,

with every fallen tear.

He wanted to hold you,

But you wanted to steer.

To control your own life…

You thought you could.

But if I could go back

I would tell you that you should…

Give it all to Him.

It’s much better that way.

Instead of trying to do it yourself

and feeling like a failure everyday.

I would tell you

He wants you

more than you’ll ever know.

That He loves you,

oh how He loves you so!

How I wish I could go back

to before it all started,

to warn my 15 year-old self

it’s simply not worth it!

Maybe if I could go back,

I could convince you otherwise.

I could get that mind to believe

you are beautiful in His eyes.

And that’s all that matters:

to see what He sees.

You are His creation

and He wants you to be free.

Free

from all the lies,

the thoughts, the anxiety.

Free

from the disease

you gave in to all too easily.

I know I can’t save you from it.

History has already been made.

But I want you to know

Beauty rose from the ashes one day.

Your story was once entangled

with lies from the enemy.

But now you tell your story with confidence

Knowing God has set you

free!

Learn more about Rebekah by reading her story of how God helped her overcome an Eating Disorder.

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#insecurity #selfesteem #identity #bodyimage #rebekah #anxiety #hope