Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Fairy Tale Marriages
Do they really exist? I remember when I was a little girl and had dreams of my prince charming sweeping me off my feet. Coming into my life and rescuing me from the crazy world I lived in. I was sure he would be perfect in every way and treat me like gold! We would have the perfect fairy tale marriage and we would live happily ever after.
Reality is… there is no perfect marriage. Once the honeymoon is over, reality sets in and life begins. Thirty-two years later, married to my best friend, we’ve had many ups and many downs together. Hardly a fairy tale. Marriage is hard work. Marriage is a lot of give and give…. Not give and take.
My grandmother, Nanna, who was married for 48 years to my “Popoo” gave me some priceless advice after I married in 1984. She said, blessed is the wife who submits to her husband in everything. At the time, 19 years old, I thought, What the heck is that about?Submit, what an ugly word. Sounds like I have to give up my independence and follow my husband. Like he’s my drill sergeant. I didn’t like that advice at 19 years old.
However, over the years, through hard times and great times, I began to seek God more diligently in my life and marriage and I learned about the word submit. WOW, my Nana was on to something. Even when I don’t agree with my husband, we communicate to each other in a respectful way and then I submit to him. God has blessed me and my marriage over and over again by submitting to my husband. Even at times I didn’t think it was fair. And I told God that. I did it anyway and WOW, God shows up like only He can do and blessed our marriage richly.
I don’t believe in fairy tale marriages and I believe that is why so many marriages end in divorce. People are so disappointed with their spouse and had such unrealistic expectations for them making them happy. When we put our “faith, hope & trust” in man, we are always let down. Our spouse is not responsible for our happiness. Marriage is hard work. Life is hard and we will have lots of things thrown our way. Will we stand the test of time? Will we fight for our marriage? Is ours a love worth fighting for? Why do so many marriages crumble? God must be the center of our marriage and we must only put our faith, hope and trust in Him. That takes a huge burden off our spouses.
I truly believe the key to a successful marriage is falling in love with one another over and over again. Dating is essential, no matter what! Make time for one another. Keep the biblical order in perspective; God, spouse, children, family and friends. In that order! Yes, my spouse comes before my children!
Communication is key to a healthy marriage; never stop talking to one another, especially about the hard things. Secrets kill a marriage. Allow God to bring everything into the light and heal, restore and transform where needed.
Pray with each other every day! Get on your knees together…powerful! Pray for your marriage, each other and your family! Don’t ever go to bed mad at each other. Someone must be bold and turn to the other and say “I love you.”
Apologize often, even when it’s not your fault (or you think it’s not). Forgive first. Say “I love you” with words and actions every day! Leave love notes around the house or in your husband’s luggage/briefcase when he’s traveling. Go out of your way to show each other how special you are to one another!
From the words of a great song by Casting Crowns, “Can’t we just be broken together?”
No one is perfect. No marriage is perfect. But can’t we just love each other for who we are and be broken together?