2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Why do we fight this?
My human nature, at times, tries to convince me I don’t need God. It tells me to be strong. Have it all together. Be responsible. Build stamina. And when I get burnt out I feel worthless and insecure.
The word failure flashes before my eyes, burns into my skull and no matter how many times I blink and shake my head, I can’t rid myself of the depleted feeling of receiving an F in life.
And more often than not I don’t take “pleasure.”
I get mad.
Because I should have been able to handle it all.
My first instinct is not to boast, but to hide. Preferably, under a table, hoping all of it will blow over and everyone will forget how weak I was.
I know God is strong. I know His strength lives inside me.
I spent countless Sundays in the front row of Sunday school class, hand high in the air, giving the best Jesus answers I could. Trust me, I know the right words to say. But my actions do not always match up.
The truth is: I am weak and I need Jesus. The very fact that I think I am strong enough is proof I need Jesus.
Chasing after perfection has only left me miserable and exhausted. To be honest, I am tired of running out of breath.
I was not created to have it all together. I was created to need Jesus. To be a beautiful mess. A mess he could shine through. My cracks, scars and bruises- he loves all of them and wants to use them for His glory.
I am called to “brag” about my shortcomings, so He can be further glorified. Initially it feels odd, but eventually it makes more sense than hiding under the nearest table (well...anything might make more sense than that).
I have to lay it all down for God. Give it all to Him. Choose to need Him. For when I do, I am given a deep strength I never knew I was capable of possessing. A strength that surpasses all understanding.
So I will share my weaknesses, my deepest hurts, my struggles, and my most embarrassing moments. I will fight against perfectionism and instead let the deep need for a savior flow out of my every pore.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.