It’s 11pm on a Tuesday. My Netflix binge has been interrupted by worries over how to fix my chapter’s most recent crisis. I want to make the right decision. I want everyone to be happy. But how can anyone make 250 people happy? It can’t be done. So, I resolve to make the decision that benefits the majority, and I go to bed. It will be ok.
As a people pleaser by nature, being my sorority’s President has had its challenges. It is literally impossible to make everyone happy. Believe me, I’ve tried. I used to (and still sometimes do) feel like everyone’s happiness defined my value. If people were happy, then it meant I did my job, I was good enough, and I was loved. If people weren’t happy, I failed, I wasn’t good enough, and I wasn’t loved. An inner conflict arose in my heart where I wanted everyone to affirm me with their emotions.
What I have learned and am still learning is:
1. You can’t control people’s emotions
2. People’s happiness doesn’t define you
Once the truth that I can’t please everyone started to feel real in my heart, I experienced a sense of freedom. My worth was no longer attached to something I couldn’t control. Instead, my worth was and is connected to the One who never changes.
No matter how many people are angry with me, God still loves me. There is nothing I can do to separate myself from Him. I am His daughter, and that gives me worth. Believing this truth has liberated me to make decisions based on what is best, not what will make people like me. Sometimes, the best decisions actually make a lot of people dislike me. And that’s ok. At the end of the day, all we can do is give our best and leave the rest up to God.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to love and serve others; we are called to do that! But when the most important thing becomes making people like you, there’s a problem. Focus on pleasing God and you will naturally please most people in the process, and if not, it will be ok. I promise.
If you’re about to be sorority’s President, or any leader for that matter, here is some advice:
Ask for help!!!! It’s ok to not have all the answers
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Sometimes, there just isn’t a solution that everyone will like. It’s ok. People will get over it.
Take time for yourself. Your job should not be 24/7. Take time out every now and then to relax.
Put your phone on silent at night. Just do it.
Keep an agenda and set reminders on your phone. It’s crazy how easy it is to forget meetings.
Make time to spend with God each day. Nothing is more important than your relationship with Him...not even your chapter’s formal.