Do you feel the need to make everyone around you happy all the time?
Have you learned not to have preferences so when you are with other people you can truly not care about where you go or what you do?
Do you have a hard time sharing how you feel about something or your opinion because you worry about how it might make others feel?
Do you keep a list of do’s and don'ts in your head in order to not rock the boat?
Do you say “yes” anytime anyone asks you to do something?
Do you find yourself rearranging your plans and schedules often in order to accommodate other people's last minute needs?
Does “Free time” feel uncomfortable to you because there is always something to do?
If there was a grading scale in life do you feel the need to get an A?
Do you worry more about other people’s feelings than your own?
Do you find yourself saying sorry all the time?
Do you tend to ask for permission and affirmation when trying to make decisions?
Do you experience anxiety when someone (anyone) is mad at you?
Do you verbally agree with people even when you disagree?
Do you find it easy to see both sides of the issue?
When you meet people for the first time do you fear offending them?
If you answered yes to any of these questions you may be a people pleaser! Obviously, these traits are not bad to have. Being kind, polite and considering other people’s feelings add up to great company. BUT if you feel like you are living your life to only please others you are not living out God’s best for you.
I am a recovering people pleaser...scratch that, I am a people pleaser. Daily I have to remember my purpose is not to make other people happy with me, but to live out my God-given potential. Daily I need the reminder because God decided to make me sensitive, one personality test claims I am “too sensitive!
But, it’s true and one of the downfalls of being too sensitive is trying to avoid hurting anyone, partly because I truly care about others and partly so I don’t experience any hurt myself. Sound selfish? That’s because in some ways, it is.
I know for me, people pleasing can be my way to seek approval. I want everyone to be happy with me so I can sleep at night.
My worst fear: people being mad at me or not liking me.
Sooooo back to that daily reminder….I need it and I don’t think I am alone in that.
Verses to help you fight people pleasing:
I am not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If people pleasing were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. -Galations 1:10
For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.- 1 Thessalonians 2:4
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were forking for the Lord rather than for people. -Colossians 2:23
Take this personality quiz to discover how God wired you. Knowing how God made me helps me understand the root of my people pleasing and how I can pursue God’s best for me.