When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.
- Psalm 94:19
If you were to say the word single about three years ago, let alone in high school, then I probably would have gone into a different room to escape the upcoming conversation. If someone were to ask me what the word single meant to me back then I am sure that I would have said loner, unworthy of love and a season that I wanted nothing to do with. I allowed Satan to use guys as a vessel to determine who I was and what my future would look like. It took me hitting rock bottom to the point of believing the lies that Satan was planting in my mind that these guys were right. It took nights eating ice cream and praying to God. It took me fully surrendering to God for me to see that my real “prince charming” also goes by the name of Prince of Peace. I truly believe that God finds us in our surrender because something happened on a summer morning about three years ago. Psalm 94:19 was the verse I read when I had a come to Jesus moment, with Jesus. This verse reminds me that God is the best shoulder to lean on when doubt has its way with us. A change in heart happened that summer morning because I realized that God chooses us even though the world rejects us.
The word single used to be a word that I thought defined my personality. However, I now find the word single to be empowering. I remind myself that what I am doing now is going to prepare me for marriage, if that is what God has planned. I started to look at singleness like a math test because I realized that every step in singleness is needed (like a math equation) to mold and make me the woman of God that I need to be. I have realized that being patient in the season of singleness does not mean treating God like a vending machine. God wants our whole hearts, and He does not want us to think that, just because we are being patient, we deserve a husband in two years since we have waited for two years already. I say this because I still am a human and have flesh. I have moments during the holidays when being single is not as easy and my mind goes to the thought bubble of what could be. It is okay to desire marriage and husband, to a point. Yet, that desire does not control me anymore. Overall, I realized that I wanted God more than I wanted unanswered questions answered.
1. Who keeps you accountable and your heart and mind busy during your season of singleness?
2. How could you rely on God during seasons of rejection?
Dear Lord, thank You for Your patience with us during moments when we feel left out, lonely or maybe even unworthy. When we feel unworthy of love or relationships in general, please bring us in closer and remind us that we are worthy because You are worthy. You are our Prince of Peace. Thank You for being our constant. Amen.