I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.
Philippians 4:13-14 (MSG)
My husband and I will be celebrating our 2 year anniversary in a couple months and what a journey it’s been. It hasn’t been filled with the dreams we had planned, but rather a vicious cycle of unending trials.
I can’t remember a time in my life when I felt healthy. Other than minor things here and there, doctors could never find a cause to it all. A few months before our wedding, I began feeling the worst I’ve ever felt. The day of our wedding, I could barely get out of bed and sat as much as I could during the reception. My entire body felt as if it was slowly shutting down.
It’s been 1 year, 10 months, and 23 days. My husband and I have yet to consummate our marriage. About a year ago, I was diagnosed with something called Vulvodynia, which is chronic vulvar pain. Doctors suspect that mine is due to nerve damage. This is why any attempt to make love with my husband results in excruciating pain rather than pleasure as God intended. I’ve also been diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease and a long list of co-infections that came with it. Evidently, that’s been the cause of feeling sick my entire life. I'm slowly moving towards healing, but I have a long road ahead.
For a while, it felt that all the earthly dreams I had, had been stolen away. Sometimes, I still feel that way. We both do. We’ve had to release the dreams we had for ourselves and begin chasing the ones God has for us. And with that, have learned that in order to overcome, we must first surrender it all at the feet of Jesus.
Whether I’m healed this side of Heaven or not, I know I’m a survivor and I’ve already overcome because of who God is and who I am in Him. What the enemy meant to destroy us, God is using for good. My husband and I have never been closer to God...He has become our true intimacy. It’s a beautiful journey we’re on together and we’re honored God has chosen us for it.
Whatever situation you find yourself in, don’t be discouraged. Whenever you feel that you’re losing the battle, that’s usually a clear indicator we’re not spending enough time with God or in His Word. If you want to overcome, you must be rooted deep into Jesus, girl! There is NOTHING too big or small to place at His feet.
1. What situation has presented itself in your life that dismantles you and leaves you feeling deflated and defeated?
2. What steps can you put into action, in order to allow God to help you overcome it? Who can you ask to be praying for you and with you?
Thank You for the challenges You allow me to endure and overcome in Your mighty name. Please help me to pursue You without abandon. When the temptation of quitting seeps over me, send Your Spirit to remind me I belong to You. You fight beside me and for me. In You, I’ll always overcome. In Your name I pray, Amen.