I grew up in a Christian home, and when I was little I considered myself a Christian. I didn’t know if I believed in Jesus or not; I was taught at a young age that He is real.
I struggled with many things and made sinful choices during my eighth grade year. I didn’t recognize God. I honestly didn’t think of Him. It was like I didn’t see the point of believing in someone that I couldn’t actually see. During the summer after my eighth grade year, my family realized that I needed to learn who God is. They saw that I was turning into someone that they didn’t want me to be. The path that I was taking was dark.
They took me to a new church, and they had people to pray for me. I didn’t want to go to church, and I wouldn’t listen to my pastor; I would completely ignore everything he was saying by focusing on my own random thoughts instead.
I was impatiently waiting until church was over. I couldn’t stand to be there so I stopped going to church after that. During my tenth grade year, I was still lost and I became friends with a girl that is a Christian. She was so passionate about Jesus, and I couldn’t understand why. She told me she had a relationship with Him, but that was hard for me to believe because I didn’t think you could have a relationship with someone that you couldn’t see or talk to. I started to separate myself from her. She kept inviting me to her church, but I didn’t want to go. I felt like we didn’t have anything in common and that she would judge me for the things I did. She was living her life for Jesus, and I felt out of place talking to her. My sophomore year of high school was depressing, filled with so much drama. I was trying to find myself because I didn’t know who I was - sometimes I felt lost and lonely, and after my sophomore year of high school, I decided to be homeschooled.
The summer during my Junior year, I came across this woman’s Instagram, called @lifelivedbeautifully. She had all of these Scriptures, and she explained each Bible Scripture. I went to her YouTube videos, and I started listening to what she was saying. I enjoyed the message that I was hearing. She had a Bible study plan, and I started following it by reading my Bible each morning when I woke up. I bought her journal and I started writing down each Scripture, explaining it in my own way. I started praying. I didn’t know how to be a “Christian” so I looked at her as an online mentor, I read her book A God-Sized Love Story, which also made me understand more about marriage, and not to be in such a rush to find a husband. I started to go to church, and I started to enjoy and understand what my pastor was talking about. As I was reading my Bible, I came across Matthew 28:19-20: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
After reading this Scripture, I knew every believer was called to live on mission, so I signed up with my church’s children's ministry program to be a teaching assistant for four and five year olds. I constantly relied on the Lord with everything I did. Every day I read my Bible, I wanted to know more about Jesus. I found my identity in Jesus Christ, I was no longer living for myself, but for the Lord. I gained a best friend, a Father, and a spiritual mentor. Since my Junior year of high school, God has changed my life so much, and as a Sophomore in college, He continues to change my life each day.
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