11 Things I Learned After 11 Years of Marriage


My husband and I got married December 4, 2004. For many of you, that’s a lllloooonnnnggg time ago. To me, it seems like yesterday.

Anthony is the man of my dreams. What’s he like? He’s driven, brilliant, adventurous, fun, and more than anything puts God first. I didn’t realize how important the latter was in my past dating relationships. But Anthony’s priorities are awesome...and I’m #2 next to God. I never knew second place could feel so good.

Here are 11 Things I’ve Learned in 11 Years of Marriage:

1. Marry up. I felt like Anthony was way, way out of my leag ue. That’s not such a bad thing. However...

2. No one is perfect. I knew going into marriage that I wasn’t perfect, so for FIVE YEARS I had Anthony on a pedestal. Even though we made the exact same mistakes when we were younger, I excused his past but not mine. There are no perfect people.

3. Marry someone you actually like. I don’t just love Anthony, I like him. I dated some people I didn’t even like. Man, I’m glad I like my husband because we’re together a lot.

4. Tune-ups are a must. I’m a huge fan of Christian counseling, and once every few years Anthony and I go to a counselor. Why? Well…

5. Communication sucks. Anthony and I joke about communication all the time. Communication is hard because we don’t always see eye-to-eye, and it’s way more convenient to ignore petty things instead of talk about them. But petty little things can fester into bigger things--or pose as a distractions from a more serious issue lurking underneath.

6. Pray together. I did NOT want to do this because it seemed cheesy, but I heard a statistic that only 1 out of 1000 couples who pray together divorce. Man, I’m glad we started because it’s drawn Anthony and I closer. Praying is so personal, and sharing that with him feels important.

7. Date your husband. Anthony and I still go on dates...not as often as we probably should, but we try our best.

8. Laugh at dumb stuff. Why not?

9. Dreaming big is the only way to dream. Ahhhh, I love this one. Anthony and I love to dream & scheme. We think of crazy big ideas and brainstorm ways to make them happen. For us, this is the best hobby. Some of our dreams (like Lane of Roses, like his business) have come true from our dreaming/scheming.

10. Fight fair. Don’t scream, just don’t. You can stop, I *eventually* did.

11. Have fun. For crying out loud, just have fun. Life is too short to miss out on this one. God tells us to live life to the fullest anyway, so you might as well. If you don’t believe me (I always thought Christianity forbade all things fun), read Nehemiah. After completing the monumental task of rebuilding the Jerusalem wall, the people wanted to dive in on the next project. God said no. He instructed them to throw a huge party. (See Nehemiah 12:43)

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