Malerie


Does anyone else get uncomfortable talking about their story? Is it because we feel like it’s not good enough, not tragic enough, or not exciting enough? Is it because it makes us vulnerable? We have to humble ourselves and remember who it is that we serve. We need to remember who it is that changed us and is still changing us. We need to remember that the glory doesn’t go to us but to give all the glory to God.

But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. - ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Growing up I was a “good girl,” never really did anything “bad.” Never drank, never cussed, still a virgin, good grades, and obeyed my mom. Although I was “good,” I was far away from God. I knew nothing about the blood of Jesus. I knew there was a God but didn’t know we could have a personal relationship with Him through Jesus. I was more scared of my mom than having a reverence for God.

My mom was the big dog in the house. As a single mother of two kids at the time, she had to be the mom and dad to us, so she was very strict. It’s not that I didn’t want to do anything the “cool” kids were doing, it’s that I wasn’t allowed to do anything. My mom went to church once in awhile but all I knew was religion so it didn’t interest me. One main thing that left me empty was that my dad left me when I was a baby to be with another family, with another son and daughter, a whole new life as if I never existed. My mom’s life was rough and she didn’t know love, she tried to give me all that she knew or could. Her marriages didn’t go well and I saw some hurtful things. My past left me with a bad image of love. Little did I know, that void I had was that I didn’t know the love of God. I didn’t have a Savior or Lord. I lived my life letting my past hurts rule my heart and mind. In junior high, girls didn’t like me and I moved a few times so never had a close group of friends. As I got into high school I went to guys seeking for Love. I got into cheerleading seeking for attention. I was never satisfied and that empty feeling never went away.

One day my mom decided to take us to church and I heard them talking about youth camp. I was interested in making friends and getting away from home to have fun, so I signed up for those two reasons. At youth camp I had an encounter with God. For the first time ever I felt the overwhelming love of God. As we were worshipping I saw kids my age seeking God. All I knew growing up was kids seeking the things of the world. It was all new to me and then all of a sudden I found myself weeping. I fell to my knees crying out to God, feeling as if someone was wrapping their arms around me, comforting me, but nobody was actually there.

There is no way else to explain it except for I felt the presence of God and knew He was real at that moment. I surrendered all to Him and gave Him my life. All hurt, pain and loneliness left at that moment. For the rest of that camp I started to see my purpose. I started to know that I was called to something greater. I started to see myself as a child of God, as a princess to my true Father the King. From that summer on I started seeking God and growing in my relationship with Jesus. It hasn’t been an easy, smooth path but it has been the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. I now have the closest friend I could ever have. I now have a Father, someone who loves me unconditionally. Someone who will never leave me or forsake me. Someone to go through the mountains and valleys with, the good times and bad.

I am now united with Christ Jesus. I made the decision to go to Bible college to get more wisdom and revelation of who I am in Christ. I found my purpose and calling in life and have learned so much about the Word. This past May I graduated from Bible college. I want to share the Gospel and what God did in me with the world.I desire to have God work through me to show others His goodness and light. I am and will always be growing and learning, but I am a new creation in Christ, all things have passed and all things have been made new. I am beyond grateful for this opportunity to write for Lane of Roses on the Writing Ambassador Team, as this is my next step in ministry, next step towards spiritual growth and in fulfilling my purpose.

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