If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. - Romans 10:9
I never viewed being a Christian as a choice. Growing up in a Christian home, it was just something that I felt like I should do because everyone else was doing it. I made choices that I thought would make me “good” because I wanted to be loved. My desire to be seen as good slowly shifted as I began to crave attention from my peers. I struggled a lot with self confidence as a teenager, and I looked for every possible way to be seen. Looking back, I can see that is where I started to choose the ways of the world over my relationship with Jesus.
When I look back, I am amazed at the fact that even when I didn’t choose God, He still chose me. He was still working in my life, even when I completely rejected Him. When I was in the darkest part of my life, I wasn’t thinking about God. I had made so many poor choices, and I went through some difficult experiences, and I still didn’t choose Him. I knew something in my life needed to change; I was so incredibly broken and didn’t know what to do. It took a lot of time before I made the conscious choice to come back to Him, even though I felt so much guilt. The amazing thing about God is that He forgives our sins, even when it seems impossible for us to ever move on. In 1 John 1:9 it says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I just love this reminder that we don’t need to feel shame for our past sins because of His incredible grace.
During my period of darkness I was reminded that He was present, and I just needed to turn back and ask Him for help. I am so encouraged by the fact that He was there even when I didn’t see Him working in my life. He used a terrible situation to lead me back to choosing Him for healing. Sometimes I still get frustrated with God for the things that I have gone through, but then I remember all the good things that came from the suffering. I like to reflect on what my life would have been if I didn’t come running back to Jesus. My heart would not have been full, and I think I would still be searching for answers.
Choosing Jesus means freedom. It is not easy, but I find so much comfort and joy knowing that there is so much more to this life. Falling back into the temptations of society is something we all struggle with, so we need to choose Jesus every day. It can be challenging, but it is so worth it. God gave us this choice because He loves us so much. He didn’t want us to be forced to follow Him, but He gave us the incredible gift of choosing to live in eternity with Him, which I will forever be thankful for.
1. What are some times in your life you didn’t choose Jesus?
2. What are some small ways in your everyday life you can choose God?
3. Reflect on some difficult times in your life. How was God moving during those times?
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the opportunity to choose You. Even though I fall short every day, You are there to come back to. Thank You for Your forgiveness and grace, even when I feel like I can’t forgive myself. Help me to choose You every day, even when things get tough. Thank You for Your love.
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