Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. - Hebrews 12:2 (KJV)
My finger moves across the smooth edge. Tracing the horizontal line, I reach the corner and continue to trace the vertical line. Halfway down the vertical line, my hand stops, but my eyes continue reading left-to-right, line-by-line. When the words on the page end, I automatically turn the page with eagerness.
I’ve repeated this movement so often that it has become muscle memory. My brain absorbing the hand-picked words that created these unique stories. I read for enjoyment, but, as the years went on, I found myself coveting—coveting the story—wanting it to be my own. Everything turned out great for the characters, eventually. But for me, the reader, my life stayed the same—in a perceived miserable limbo. Nothing happened to me—all I did was anticipate the day my life would reflect the stories I read in my favorite books.
Though I longed to have a life like the ones in my books—I knew it wasn’t reality—I would never have that life. I was average; my life was boring; I would never be interesting. I tried to cope with my unfortunate reality by finding moments in my own life I could use to make “my story” interesting. I would read between people’s statements to find a more in-depth thought process, and I would observe the people around me, trying to create a reason for their actions—a reason more dramatic than necessary. I wanted an interesting life, and if I didn’t have one—I would create one.
However, I can’t write my story, because it’s not mine to tell—it’s God’s. I’m not my own character—I was created by God. He created my life story—my family, my friends, my soulmate, my trials, my triumphs—He created it all. My focus shouldn’t be on how to make my life the most interesting story—my focus should be on living my life according to the character God created me to be. This is His story, and I’m just reading it—left-to-right, line-by-line— eager to see how the story will end.
1. Are you allowing yourself to be the character of God’s story, or are you being the author of your own story?
2. How can you change your focus to see God as the author of your story?
3. How can you begin to trust that God has your story perfectly written for His glorious purpose?
I want a story like the ones I’ve read about. I want to be the woman who goes on crazy adventures and finds her Mr. “Tall, Dark, and Handsome” amid my crazy life. However, Lord, I know my life may not reflect the books I’ve read or the movies I’ve watched, but I know my life is a beautiful story written by You. Help me to remember that I am not writing my story, I am just living it. You have the pen, You have the paper, and You know the ending. Help me to trust in You at all times. You are the creator of my life; You are the author of my story. I love you so much. Thank you for writing my story. Amen.