College credit—that was all I needed.
I sat in my dorm room looking at the website on my computer—the unique color of the roses, the candid photographs, and the professionalism captivated me.
“It couldn’t hurt to inquire about an internship. Would it?” I asked myself.
Typing a short explanation of my needs, I hit the send button and closed the computer—confident I would never hear back from the company.
The next day, I checked my email. The page loaded to display the name of someone I didn’t recognize.
I read the subject line.
Wait, wasn’t that the name of the company I emailed yesterday?
I quickly opened it. It read, "My name is Rebekah Perryman! Thank you for reaching out! I would love to set up a time to chat on the phone to hear your specific needs and your story.”
Within a month of receiving that email, I was given a summer internship position. I was excited to work for Lane of Roses, but at the time, I was only excited because I found a place to meet my college requirement.
This wasn’t because I didn’t have a desire to pursue a writing career—I was concerned because I would be writing devotionals about God.
Because of my internal struggles, I felt inadequate.
I was raised in a Christian home (actually, I was a pastor’s daughter). I could recite the books of the Bible and recall many Bible stories by the age of four; and at the age of six, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior.
However, as the years went on, I became extremely insecure about my body, my personality, and my God. My mind convinced me I had no value, no worth.
And in return, I began to turn my back on the God who made me.
No one knew of my insecurities (well, except my family), and I tried to live my life faking it. I played the part of the diligent, helpful “Christian,” while on the inside, I was miserable.
When I came to college, I thought I could find myself, and, maybe, find God in the midst of it. However, my hope continued to dwindle, and my faith, already rocky, shattered. I lost my ability to fake it; I couldn’t hide behind the mask anymore. I allowed all the pain, doubt, and worry to come to the surface of my life. I was broken; I was hurting.
It was during this time in my life that I applied to Lane of Roses, and surprisingly, everything came together smoothly. I had the position in October, I would meet the Lane of Roses staff in January, and I would start working for them in May.
As the months flew by, I found my faith and hope in God increase (I can’t explain why), but I still felt inadequate to write for a company that fully loved, honored, and trusted God. My broken, doubt-filled life would be rejected—I wouldn’t fit in.
However, the moment I walked into the Starbucks at the Summit, God revealed Himself to me. As Rebekah spoke of excellence, as Stacie listened to my personal struggles, as Katie S. encouraged me, and as Katie H. praised my abilities—I found God. These women showed me that no one is perfect—we all have insecurities and struggles, but God has a purpose for our brokenness—we are needed, we are loved.
We are beautifully broken.
In the fall of 2017, I sent out an email to apply for an internship, ashamed of who I was and doubting God’s love for me.
Today, in the fall of 2018, I sit in my dorm room confident in God, His love for me, and His purpose for my life.
I thought Lane of Roses was the solution to fulfilling my college requirement. However, Lane of Roses was God’s solution to fulfilling His purpose for my life.
A college requirement truly became a life-changing miracle.
Photography: Megan Carter