Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.
If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.
Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I’ve only ever been in one decently serious relationship, and I’m still not completely over how it ended. Did I end things initially? Yes. But it was his actions, discoveries of hidden truths, and secrets that kept us apart. Honestly, I long for the person I was when I was with him. I was happy - truly happy - for the first time in a while. I felt loved for who I was, not who I had to try to be. I felt safe, protected, wanted. I don’t necessarily miss him anymore, but I miss being able to say I was in a relationship with someone incredible (or so I thought). I miss knowing that I always had someone to turn to when I needed to talk things out, provide reassurance when I was having a bad day, and to laugh/joke around with. I felt light.
Many people have told me to “enjoy the single life” and “enjoy your freedom while you have it.” But what if I don’t want to - can’t, even - enjoy that life anymore? Truthfully, I long to feel the way I did when I was in a relationship. I long for the feeling of being wanted and loved by someone other than friends and family. Of course, I know I am loved and wanted by God (that used-to-be-hole has been filled and will never empty), but this is a different hole that I fear will never be filled.
God didn’t design us to do life alone - He made that apparent when He created Eve. Rather, He created Eve for the purpose of giving Adam a life companion - giving him someone to lean on, learn from and with, and grow closer to The Father with. Relationships were designed by God, which is why I believe it’s okay to long for one.
It’s okay to not be okay being single; to want that special relationship that God designed you for; to want to live in such intimate communion with someone that, by doing so, you’re not only growing more and more into who God made you to be, but also growing closer to The Father. It’s okay to want to have someone love you unconditionally. It’s okay to long for those things because they are God-created.
Whether you’re single and happy or single and unhappy (like me), here’s the one thing that I’ve had to remember to focus on: God’s plan is perfect - trust in it!
1. How have you let your relationship status steer your relationship with God?
2. How can you lean into God in whatever season you’re in with relationships?
God, thank You for creating relationships. Thank You for designing me to need others - to need You. Help me trust in Your plan above all others. I love You. Amen.
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