To my single sisters,
I know it may not seem like it, but you are in a very special season in your life. Instead of special perhaps it feels a little more like loneliness or you feel forgotten, maybe even jealous of your dating/married friends.
Please understand that to be single, at whatever age, is truly something to treasure. Why? Because it won’t last forever. Just like seasons come and go, eventually your time of being single will too.
I have reached a point of contentment in my single season. Do I still dream of getting married and having a family one day? Of course! However, I’m also a firm believer in embracing the very moment you are in right now and living your best life with fullness rather than wallowing in it until the next season comes. For reference, I am 27 years old and have been on this journey of singleness for around seven years. I have asked God many questions along the way but I have also grown and learned valuable life lessons that I will apply to multiple areas of my life, forever. Life lessons that I probably would not have picked up on had I settled for someone earlier in life.
Perhaps some of these questions sound familiar:
1. Why haven’t I met him yet?
Chances are, you have standards for your future husband. Personally, I have pretty high standards. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; I believe it shows confidence that you know what you want in a man which long-term will result in a successful relationship and it will be worth the wait. But, that also means you may have to wait a bit longer to find that man.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1
2. Did God forget about me?
The amount of times I have felt this is too many to count. I totally get that you feel forgotten, especially when the majority of your circle of friends/family may be locked down in committed relationships and possibly even questioning you why you aren’t yet. No, He did not forget about you. I’m going to leave you with this quote from Louie Giglio, “To us, waiting is wasting, to God, waiting is working.” Ladies, He is working in your life to help you grow into the best version of you possible. Let me ask you this, would you want to be with a man who wasn’t working on his own life to be the best version of himself? No? Neither would I.
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
- Isaiah 53:3
May we not forget that He relates to each one of our sufferings and painful seasons.
3. Will I ever get married?
While I cannot answer that with 100% yes or no, I truly believe that if that is your heart’s desire and you stay committed to building your own foundation in your relationship with God first, you will eventually meet a man who has been doing the same in his life and he will far exceed any of your expectations.
Jesus replied, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the
Father has fixed by His own authority.” - Acts 1:7
Sometimes we simply are not meant to know specific dates of life events because that would distract us from the journey itself and seeking God’s wisdom in that.
4. Am I worthy of a committed relationship?
Worthiness is not defined by a relationship status. You are worth far more than any precious gem. That includes a diamond on your left ring finger.
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
- Proverbs 31:10
5. Is there something wrong with me?
No. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful inside and out. Be confident in that. The enemy wants to fill you with lies about yourself to deceive you into thinking less of yourself. But that’s all they are, lies. Confidence is attractive. Focus on the Truth and all that you are doing right.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
- Proverbs 31:25
Always remember: You are God’s masterpiece.
Here’s what I know - God’s plan is always greater than ours. Always. That includes the timing of our heart’s greatest desires. I know how cliche this sounds but like the old saying goes, “Good things take time.” That doesn’t mean it’s going to be an easy process, make any sense, or even seem fair. In every situation, good or bad, there is a lesson to be learned. If we take this singleness and turn it into valuable life lessons along the way, all of a sudden it seems more tolerable and even purposeful. This is your opportunity to grow into your absolute best self without depending on a man to complete that for you. That brings me to the fact that once you reach that point of finding purpose in your single season, you are ultimately unstoppable. Be the kind of lady who has spent time building her morals and values, her independence, the ability to live life on her own and the strength to be completely herself, without a man first. Ladies, there is so much strength in that. And I can guarantee if you were to ask any man of quality character he would always respond with how attractive that is in a woman.
Once you meet that man, consider yourselves a power couple seeing as how much confidence you have individually and then the strength of being united together as one.
Your fiercely independent sister focused on building her foundation first
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