The Myth of "The One"


Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and

know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you,

and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

- Psalm 139:23-24

I think every little girl grows up dreaming of finding her “prince charming.” We watch princess movies and listen to love songs by Taylor Swift and can’t help but imagine what “the one,” the guy we will spend forever with, will be like. As we get older we start to recognize the harsh reality that first kisses aren’t always what we thought they would be like, guys aren’t as magical, thoughtful, and perfect as we were shown they would be. Hearts get broken and then what come next? You thought he was THE ONE!

I don’t know about you but there was such a long period of time in my life where I was frustrated with God because I just wanted to meet “the one,” the guy He had specially set aside for me. Over the past few years since I have graduated so many mentors and married couples I truly admire shared this concept with me that has completely changed my perspective.

When it comes to relationships there isn’t one perfect guy out there for you. What?! Woah, hold on… did they really just say that? That goes against everything I have ever planned. I hadn’t found my guy yet and that’s okay because God knows best, but I know “the one” is out there. I don’t know if this is new to you or not, but for me this was such a hard realization. I had this plan that one day I would just know and this changed that, but what it mostly did was remind me that I could make plans all I wanted but that no matter what God was in all of it and his plan always prevails. In Proverbs 19:21 it says just that. “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.”

Relationships take hard work, and choosing the right guy isn’t a perfect science but I know that I serve a God who holds the plans for my life in His hand. He knows who I am going to marry someday but I also know He gives us choice and as much as that scares me to continue not knowing about the future I know His purpose will prevail. God is preparing our hearts for our future guy and He is preparing “our guy” just the same. He knows our hearts and the things we are anxious about. God made Eve as a helpmate “suitable for Adam” and just the same you will be the perfect match for your future husband and He will be the perfect match for you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he will match our imagination’s version of a perfect guy. God knows so much better than we do and that is what makes relationships so special when they do end up in marriage. It isn’t about finding “the one,” it is about finding someone who will spend the rest of their lives loving you the way God does and serving Him alongside you.

Reflection

1. What are some “imaginary” expectations you have for your future guy?

2. Make a list of your non-negotiables and pray over them. How can you be praying for the guy who is perfect for YOU?

3. What can you do to prepare your heart to serve your future husband better?

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know my heart inside and out, You know the desires I have in my life and I pray that You would help me focus on You. I trust that You have the perfect plan for my life and the guy in mind for me, help me to be so lost in serving you that my future husband has to seek You just as much to find me. Spending eternal life with You is the only real fairytale I need, You are all I need. I pray over whoever my future husband is, for his heart and the things he is growing in and struggling in, that You would guide him closer to Your heart. I love You, and I thank You for being the example of unconditional love that I need.

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  • Amen

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