My people are being destroyed because they don’t know me... - Hosea 4:6 NLT
By the title I’m sure you already know what I will be talking about, finding the right “one” for you. Before I go there let’s be real about the season that you may currently be in - singleness. I believe that we can’t find the right one for us until we find ourselves first. The only way to find who you are is by finding who you are in Christ. In Hosea, God is saying that His people are being destroyed because they don’t know Him. Therefore, we need to know God before anything, before it leads to destruction. Destruction of emotions, feelings, heart, mind, friendships, etc.
I am going to take it back to the beginning - back to Genesis. In Genesis we see that before God created two people, there was one. Adam was created BEFORE eve. What I’m trying to say is that before we try to find the right person for us, we need to be content with ourselves, with our singleness. What we do sometimes is look for people to take the place of what only God can give us. BEFORE the person, God desires to give us a place (His God place for you). God wants to be able to reveal purpose to us, BEFORE the person. We can at times be so wrapped up in trying to get a person, that we ignore the place and then we don’t understand our purpose. God has us in this place whether it’s in this season of singleness, the job, the city, etc... it’s all on purpose. If we start to embrace the reason behind this place we are in, we will start to embrace the purpose of why we are in this place. All of this happens BEFORE the person.
Until we stop fighting having people in the places that only God can fill, we will always be disappointed in where God has us. We will start to feel as if we can compromise the purpose God has for us because of the place that a person has in our life. If God isn’t enough... no person ever will be. This is why I stress to you how important it is to find yourself BEFORE the person, to know your place and purpose in Christ BEFORE the person. It says in Matthew 26 “to love God and love others as you love yourself.” Most of us are loving others before we love ourselves. We end up looking to the person to make complete our deficiencies when we never learned to love ourselves. We start to think the “right one” will complete us. Once we know who we are and are truly seek God, I believe we won’t be constantly trying to meet the “right one” every few months or couple years. Things become more clear with preparation.
Now that I shared my heart behind finding yourself first, I’ll finally talk to you about the right “one” for you. If you read the Lane of Roses devotional by Akisha from yesterday, she wrote about the myth of “the one.” I would highly encourage you to go back and read it because it is going to relate to finding the right “one” for you. I believe that is something some of us struggle with. I know I have struggled with not knowing if he is the “right one.” Honestly... I personally don’t believe there is only ONE person in this entire world that is meant to be for you. I know God will give you the desires of your heart and I also know that He gives us free will to choose the decisions we make in our life. One of the main things that I ask is, “God, is this relationship from you?” I believe you will be able to see if that relationship is from God, is if this relationship is helping you. We tolerate more relationships that are taking away from us, taking our peace, ravaging our joy, and some that are even keeping us up at night. Ladies, no more tolerating, no more compromising, no more settling, no more lowering your standards. If you’re praying that God will just remove “symptoms” of the guy you are interested in just because you believe he is “the one”... he isn’t helping you. God wants each relationship in your life to help you succeed, whether it’s friends, family, co-workers, and especially in a potential spouse which is a person that is intended to live life with you. Most times we look at the culture we live in and try to find ourselves in it. We look at worldly relationships and try to be like them. The culture we live in will try to set the standard for our relationships. We need to allow the standard for our relationships to be the Word of God. The right “one” for you will treat you as God treats the Church. It says in Ephesians how the Church is the bride and God is the groom. We are the Church and we have seen how God has pursued us and has loved us. We are to look at that as an example of what the right “one” will be like. We can not look at Instagram to find our “relationship goals”. We shouldn’t be more focused on finding the right “one” more than we are seeking God for ourselves and for the purpose of sharing the Gospel. We start to get into prayer that they are “the one” and that the relationship will work but we end up doing more maintenance and healing than we do preparation in relationships. Our theme verse, Hosea 4:6, explains how the children of Israel were in a place where they were disobeying God. He had parted the Red Sea for them, provided manna, and much more amazing things for them. Meanwhile, they kept making their own idols, going their own way and doing their own thing. In the NIV translation of the Bible, God says that His people are destroyed for the lack of knowledge. I like how the MSG version says, “my people are ruined because they don’t know is what is right and what is true.” We need to have preparation before we are so quick to find “the one.”
1. Take a moment and reflect on your singleness season. Do you know who YOU are BEFORE you meet the right “one”?
2. Think about what you have been looking to for setting the standard of your relationships. Have you been looking for relationship advice in Cosmopolitan or Glamour? Have you been looking to the Word of God to set your standard of finding the right “one”?
3. Are we more worried about that person being “the right one” more than we are in preparing ourselves for the right one?
Father God thank You for loving me the way You do. Thank You for that extravagant, unconditional love that I can only get from You. Help me to find my identity in You and be so secure in it. Help me to know who I am before I get into a relationship. I pray for discernment and wisdom when it comes to relationships. You’re such a good, good Father and I give You all the glory, honor, and praise. In Jesus’ name, Amen!
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