Dating With Intentionality


Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

- Amos 3:3 (NLT)

Dating as I know it has changed. It used to be as simple as meeting someone in the neighborhood or at school or being introduced to someone. Once you met, you’d fall in love and live happily ever after. Well, maybe it was not that easy. Unfortunately dating is much harder now. To be honest, dating in 2019 is just hard. As women of God, we have to compete with the “worldly” standard of dating vs. the Christian standard of dating. The world says, date the good looking man who has money and power and makes you “feel” good. The Christian standard is simple, date with intention and purpose to have a marriage that will honor and glorify God.

A few years ago, I entered a relationship and within a few months I knew that this was not the man that God had placed in my life. I knew that I should end the relationship, but I continued the relationship to avoid loneliness and to not be single, as I had been single long enough.

Needless to say, a few more months into the relationship, I was questioning myself as a woman of God and a leader. This man did not discourage me from pursuing God, but he did not encourage my purpose. We were not planning to be purposeful and intentional in our relationship that would lead to marriage. He wanted to get married, but it was by his terms and not God’s terms. Unfortunately, the relationship lingered on for a while. Throughout this relationship, I became bitter, hurt, and resentful. I was trying to continue to pursue a relationship that was not purposeful and intentional.

We know that God has a purpose and a plan for each of us. But do we ever stop to think about His purpose and plan for our relationships? God has a purpose for relationships and marriage. As women of God we should be dating with the intention of being pursued for a marriage that will honor and glorify God. We should not be engaging in casual relationships. What do casual relationships bring to the table? I would like to think that casual relationships can bring distractions, lust, and sin.

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. - 2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT)

Casual relationships are time wasters. Why spend time with someone who you know God has not sent you to marry? It is not worth it. Trust me, I have been down this road a time or two. These casual relationships usually end up in heartbreak, regret, bitterness, and most times shame. God has more in store for you than a casual relationship.

Dear sisters, I hope that you choose to seek purposeful and intentional relationships. Allow yourself to be pursued by a man after God’s own heart. I know that it sounds cliché, but it is so necessary. Allow yourself to be pursued by a man who wants to seek God and His purpose for your relationship that will eventually lead to marriage. I know that the world’s standard of dating sometimes seems much better, but trust me, being in God’s purpose is far better that settling for the world’s standard.

Being that dating is hard in 2019, you must keep your eyes on God. Be mindful and pray before you enter relationships. Remain faithful to God. He will send you the man that he has designed especially for you to enter into a purposeful and intentional relationship that will lead to a Godly marriage.

Reflection

1. Do you pray for God’s purpose and will before you enter a relationship and while you are in a relationship?

2. Consider the relationship you are currently in, or past relationships: is the relationship filled with distractions and/or lust?

3. List two things that you can do differently to enter purposeful and intentional relationships.

Prayer

Father, thank You for being a God of mercy and grace. Father, I want to enter a relationship that is filled with Your purpose. Father, please help me to seek You so that I do not enter casual relationships that are not ordained by You. Father, please give me the strength to endure my single season until You send me that purposeful and intentional relationship that will eventually lead to marriage. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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