Preparing To Become A Part of his Family

We love each other because He first loved us.

- 1 John 4:19 NLT

After 16 years of being a part of my husband’s family, I finally understand their family saying that doesn’t cause me to raise an eyebrow.

“Around here we keep our coats on.”

When I first heard my mother-in-law and her sister-in-law saying this, I didn’t know what to expect or how to take it. It’s like that awkward moment of just standing there saying, “Okay, let me grab my coat then and I’ll wear mine too.” I didn’t understand why we were standing in the kitchen with our coats on but instead of resisting the ways of their family, I joined them.

As much as we desperately try to prepare to become a part of this family - our new husband’s family - we often try too hard, which leads to frustration. We build our expectations in a way that often leads to disappointment, discontentment, and acknowledgment of our failures or even theirs. We forget the truth that if your husband loves you as you are, yes this includes faults and all, then his family will too. However, this goes both ways. We love our husband’s family as they are because they are a huge part of his life.

It’s so simple that we often over think and try too hard to make a good impression. Instead of striving to make the perfect impression, be yourself, roll with the punches, OH and keep your coat close by because you never know when you might want to stand in the kitchen with your coat on at your in-laws’ house.

Therefore, it’s important to remember that we love because God first loved us. My greatest advice when it comes to becoming a part of your husband’s family is to go in with a servant’s heart and let the rest fall into place. You can prepare all you want but you still aren’t going to know what to always expect, so in my family this is why we keep our coats on.


1. If you are preparing for marriage, how can you prepare yourself to have a servant’s heart as you join his family?

2. In what areas do you need to learn to keep your coat on in certain situations?


Heavenly Father, Thank You so much for sending my husband and allowing me to become a part of his family. Show me how to have a servant’s heart full of love as we get to know each other and prepare to be a united family. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.



#marriage #family #love #relationships

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