However Long, No Matter How


Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, offspring, a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons born in one’s youth. Happy is the man who has filled his quiver with them. They will never be put to shame when they speak with their enemies at the city gate.

- Psalm 127:3-5

It is very evident throughout Scripture that God regards children as a blessing. In Psalm 127, children are seen as a heritage from the Lord - a gift to be extended perpetually from one generation to the next; and a reward - the positive benefit immediately received in return for one’s work. To expand your family, which has already been established through a covenant with God and your spouse, is a very blessed moment in the life of your marriage.

When facing the possibility of expanding your family, there are many times that fear can creep in. “Are we financially ready?” and “What if I don’t know how to be a good mother?” were a couple of the questions that haunted me as my husband and I worked toward growing our own family. Slowly, as the months passed without a positive pregnancy test, those fears changed into something entirely different… much darker than they were before. I began to question God’s will and His goodness. “Why doesn’t He want me to have a child?” and “Why won’t He help me?” Overwhelmed.

But, just as God shows us His heart for children through His Word, He showed me that He is faithful to fulfill His promises. After a year and a half of trying to conceive our first child, with many rounds of medications, our beautiful son came into the world. A perfect picture of God’s grace in our lives. And even now, when facing the possibility of adding a second child to our family through adoption, God is teaching me more and more about the importance of a Biblical family model. He is showing me just how important it is that my children, my perfect gifts straight from God Himself, have a strong foundation on His Word. He is showing me how important it is that my children see a strong marriage between their parents. He is showing me that if I don’t put in the work, maintaining and growing deeper in my relationship with my husband and with Him, my children will suffer.

So, when you, in unity with your husband, are facing the possibility of growing your family, keep this in mind: no matter how long it takes, no matter how your family is formed, never lose sight of your marriage. Becoming a mother does not mean stepping out of your role as a wife. It means that there is an even greater responsibility within your marriage now to provide a picture of the very Gospel in your own home through your own relationship with your spouse and your own relationship with God. In your season of preparation, teach yourself. Do your research. Make sure you know how God calls us as Christian women to raise our children. Put in the work on your marriage, making sure that you are portraying to your children a Biblical view of husband and wife, mother and father. And remember… You can do this! Rely on God’s sovereign, mighty hand and you will learn new things about yourself and your spouse throughout the entire process.

Reflection

1. What image of Biblical marriage and parenthood do you want to portray to your children/future children?

2. How can you focus on growing a deeper and more grounded relationship with your God and your spouse in preparation for parenthood?

Prayer

God, thank You for Your blessings! Thank You for Your perfect plan and Your perfect timing. Throughout this season of preparation, mold me into the kind of wife and mother that You want me to be. Show me Your most important truths about marriage and help me to portray a strong, Godly relationship in the midst of this season to my children/future children. Thank You for Your gifts and Your heart. Amen.

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