It’s wild how much God loves each and every one of us. When I look back at how clueless I was to the love that was around me I am always shocked.
When I was fourteen my dad walked out of my life. He had found someone other than my mom and I was just a burden. My dad was my hero, the man I could always count on to protect me and the man I always felt loved me more than anything else.
This same guy chose to not say goodbye, to pack up his stuff, and to leave. As a teenager going into high school my world came to an end; I felt as though no one could love me if my own dad chose to leave me behind. It was at this point I completely turned away from God; I was angry that He took my dad away. I then felt like it was my fault, that I was incapable of being loved, so I had to do everything in my power to make people love me.
I became a people pleaser. I did anything and everything people would ask of me, so that they would in turn love me, never once turning to God. I found myself trapped in relationships where I couldn’t say no. A guy would say let’s go a little bit further and I would agree because I thought it would mean that he would love me.
For two years I found myself in an endless loop. I felt as though I could not escape. It wasn’t until I was sitting in my kitchen listening to worship music, at my mom’s request, that I realized I had been looking for love in all the wrong places. I heard the song “Shoulders” and it completely changed my life. I can’t quite put into words the feeling I felt that day. The best I can do is say I felt loved, I felt unconditional love.
This fatherly love I had been craving for so long, I finally felt it. I realized I turned my back on the greatest Father in the world. God had been with me through everything, and He was just waiting for me to invite Him in. He couldn’t wait to hold me in His arms and to take care of me. I had found the Father I had always wanted and craved. I surrendered my life to Christ on that June afternoon and my life has completely changed ever since.
I have realized over the past few years since being a Christian that people in this world can hurt you. My earthly father left me when I needed him most, but I have since found a Father that will always be by my side. A Dad that, through thick and thin, is always watching out for me, and I have an endless amount of love for my Heavenly Father.
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