I Don't Know, But You Do

From the dew of heaven and the richness of the earth, may God always give you abundant harvests of grain and bountiful new wine.

- Genesis 27:28

“I just . . . I don’t know, Abba,” I shook my head as I continued getting ready for bed.

Usually, when I would have these late night talks with God, the ending would be clear - I would have peace about a decision, or I would see what I needed to change. This time, however, I felt more confused at the end of my conversation with God then I did at the beginning.

I was lost.

I wasn’t lost spiritually; I was lost emotionally. And I was hoping that a midnight chat with God would provide me the answers I needed.

It didn’t.

However, despite the unanswered questions, I found myself here . . . writing a Lane of Roses devotional weeks in advance (not my normal style). I have to be honest, when I first started writing for Lane of Roses, my joy came from having my writing published. But now, one year and three months later, my joy comes from the lessons God teaches me through my writing. My writing isn’t for my readers (though I hope it can bless you in some way). My writing is for me, my spiritual journey, and my relationship with God.

Lane of Roses’ purpose is to “Engage, empower, and equip women to know that they are made on purpose and for a purpose.” Through numerous Bible studies, sorority ministries, devotionals, and Bible study tools, Lane of Roses longs for each person they reach to know that they have a God that loves them and cares about them. They want each woman to know that it’s okay to have doubts, it’s okay to ask questions, and it’s okay not to be okay (believe me, that’s a hard one to accept). Everything they do is to show the world that God loves them, and in doing so, He has used them to empower so many women to live out their God-given purpose.

Before I worked with Lane of Roses, I was lost (well, more lost than I am now). I had turned my back on God because I thought He didn’t care about me. But now, because of what God did through Lane of Roses’ ministry, I have found my way back to God, and I have put my trust in Him.

“I just . . . I don’t know, Abba.” I repeated this phrase over and over again as I finished getting ready for bed. I didn’t understand why God was letting this happen or why He wasn’t given me clarity.

Finally, I closed my bedroom door and sighed. As I sat on my bed, I looked over to my bookshelf along the far wall. Laying neatly on the bottom shelf was my James devotional. When I wrote that book, I was at a difficult place in life, yet God used Lane of Roses and my writing to show me how awesome my God is. If my God proved faithful then, He would prove faithful now.

I smiled and turned off the light. “I don’t know, Abba, but You do.”


1. What purpose did God design you for?

2. How can you begin to live out your God-given purpose?


Abba Father,

Thank you for Your unfailing love. Thank you for Your grace. Thank you for never giving up on me. Today, I want to thank you for the Lane of Roses’ ministry. Abba, it has changed my life. Your love has been given and Your grace has been shown through this ministry. I pray that You continue to bless it. Bless the staff as they continue to do Your work and allow them the opportunity to keep reaching the world for You. You are amazing, Abba. Thank you . . . thank you for everything. I love you, Abba. Amen.



#wisdom #followingGod #anxiety


As a 501c3 nonprofit, our ministry is made possible by God's provision through generous gifts from our Mission Partners and Sponsors.


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Lane of Roses, Inc. is a 501c3 nonprofit registered in the state of Kentucky.


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Lexington, KY 40588

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