They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.
- Psalm 1:3 NLT
I stared blankly at the overwhelming mess surrounding me as I sat alone on the living room floor in my tiny, stuffy 1 bedroom apartment. I hadn’t been feeling well and so badly wished I was laying in bed. However, I had a never-ending checklist of items that were screaming to be completed. I grabbed my computer and logged into my Netflix account. I may not have had time to chill, but wanted to at least have something mildly entertaining while I painfully attempted to complete the task of assembling invitations. It was 45 days until my wedding day. I took note of the bleak day: barely sunny, but also not overcast. My emotions seemed to mirror the weather with a hint of angst beginning to creep in. Though I was ecstatic for my upcoming nuptials, I was also keenly aware of the transition that was beginning to take place in my life.
There I sat, alone and single, in that apartment of mine. There was a time when I was afraid of the silence, afraid of being still and alone. But, over the years I had learned to relish and savor those moments, to be all in. I would never get this time back, and time, it moves so quickly doesn’t it? I didn’t, for one second, want to waste those moments and look back with regret.
The four and a half years before my wedding day were paved with many struggles, but also victories. I had learned to rely solely on Jesus to meet my every need. To be content when things didn't turn out the way I desired. I learned who Kristina was, and finally began understanding the responsibility of being a daughter of Christ. Before I could submit to a husband, or humbly let him lead me, I had to learn to submit to God (and what a rich lesson that was). I also became braver. As I reflected, I was hit with overwhelming gratitude for that time and it’s lessons. I'm also, dare I say it? Proud of myself. I survived. And, I lived my life of singleness well and lived fully in each moment. A transitioned me, oh so bittersweet.
We’re now close to celebrating our 4 year wedding anniversary, and a big part of me misses that time of being single. It was a sanctuary of sorts that I'd created and treasured. But, it was time to move on, and I absolutely love being married to my best friend. Looking back, I’m glad I let myself go through all the emotions that come with one chapter ending and another beginning. I really liked the Kristina I was 4 years ago, but I really like the Kristina I am today too. Every single second, (no matter the circumstances) I experienced up to this point was worth it. A life rooted in Christ is one that will always thrive. This is me, singing hello from the other side. Go on and live your best life girl! And, whatever the season you’re in right now, be roots deep; all in.
1. What are 3 things you cherish about the season you’re in right now?
2. In your current season, how has God helped you thrive?
Dear Jesus, Thank You for planting me where I am. Please help me to stay rooted in You through it all. I’m in awe of Your sovereignty and grace. You are never changing and always with me. I will have complete reliance in You. Let me life be a testimony of Your goodness as I live fully in each moment You’ve gifted me. It's in Your precious name I pray, Amen.
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Photo Credit: Bradley Quinn Photography