My Will Be Undone


And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

- Colossians 1:17 ESV

“To pray ‘Thy will be done,’ I must be willing, if the answer requires it, that my will be undone.” - Elisabeth Elliot.

My will be undone.

That’s a lot of letting go and my knuckles are turning white from the grasp that I have on my own plans. I don’t want control… no, that stresses me out too much. In the back of my mind I know that the plans God has for me are so much better than anything I could come up with on my own, but I crave stability. And holding onto my own plans makes me naively believe that I have that. When in reality? It’s so far from what God wants from me that it’s tearing me up emotionally.

My grasp is beginning to ache from trying to hold it all together and I find that it’s robbing me of rest. I pray for God’s will; I mean well. Honest. But there’s a part of me that fears the letting go and fears the change so much so that I hold back.

Am I truly willing to let my will be undone for the sake of His?

From the bottom of my heart, I fear that I’ll end up completely abandoned if I let go of what I’ve so selfishly collected. I’m scared of the in between and of the silence.

But this isn’t in His heart. He isn’t going to abandon you. He won’t overlook you and He certainly won’t forget about you. It took longer than I would like to admit for me to fully grasp that idea of Colossians 1:17. And trust me, it’s a beautiful one. It’s a freeing one. It’s so incredibly life giving.

We don’t have to be the ones to plan everything. We don’t have to be the ones to hold all things together. That’s His job, it’s not ours. There’s so much rest and reassurance to be found in knowing that He goes before us. Like a loving Father, He goes before us, leaving footprints in the sand for us to follow after. They’re sure and they’re safe.

Before anything comes our way, God has already been there. And when we were five steps behind Him, He was preparing our hearts for what was to come. When we get so tired we can hardly hold on any longer, He reminds us that this is all in His hands, not ours. We can let go and let ourselves lean into the safety of His embrace.

There’s nothing to fear in the in between.

“It’s like Silent Saturday. Between the death and the resurrection. It’s easy to lose hope in the silence, but it’s when the biggest stuff is happening.” My Lane of Roses Prayer Partner spoke these words to me in my own current season of letting go and leaning into God’s embrace, and I’ve found so much encouragement in them since.

The silence isn’t lonely, it’s bountiful. He’s present in it all; even the letting go, even the waiting. It’s all holding onto Him, and it’s all resting in His hands.

So, Lord, bring me to the letting go. Make me willing to let my will be undone. It’s all held together in You.

Reflection

1. What’s holding you back from letting go of your control and giving it to God?

2. What is God teaching you in the silence? Where do you see His presence even in the waiting?

Prayer

Lord we praise You for constantly being our Sustainer. Thank You for going before us so lovingly and thoughtfully. You’re the beginning of all things, Lord, help that to sink deep into our hearts and loosen our grip on our control. Allow us to be willing to have our own wills be undone. Help us to see You so vividly in the waiting and in the moments in between when You are truly doing the most within us. You are so worthy of all of our praise.

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