Love is Not... Controlling


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Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable,

and it keeps no record of being wronged.

- 1 Corinthians 13:4

“I’ll only love you if you ______.”

“I’ll love you when _______.”

Statements of control like these can ruin relationships. Love is not, and should never be, controlling or conditional. That’s not how God designed love and it’s certainly not how He loves. If love were controlling or conditional, He wouldn’t have sent His Son to die for our sins. If love were controlling, it would be conditional. If love were controlling, it wouldn’t be love.

Love the way God intended it to be is far from controlling or conditional. Our God does not love that way, and neither should we. 1 John 4:18-19 says, “Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear… We love each other because He loved us first.” This is our model, and when we experience God’s perfect love for ourselves through faith in Jesus, we are empowered by the Holy Spirit to love like He does.

That’s the beauty of God - He ‘s given us the example and He gives us the choice to walk in His love! And even if we choose not to walk in step with Him, He loves His children anyway. That, my friend, is not control. That is Love.

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” - Romans 5:8 NIV

Reflection

1. Is there a time when you have experienced a “controlling love”?

2. How can you work towards loving unconditionally?

Prayer

Father, thank You for loving me so unconditionally. Thank You for teaching me the way to love through Your Word. You are so good to me, God. I love You. Amen.

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