Written by: Kari Kline
I always feel a little awkward when asked about my testimony and when my “God moment” was. The truth of the matter is I don’t have one in the terms that others do. I don’t remember the moment when I took the step to believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord because truthfully, I don’t ever recall a time when I didn’t hold that belief in my heart. I don’t recall a specific instant when I accepted Jesus into my heart, but I know that I am a child of God and a faithful believer.
I was born into a Christian family, the daughter of a pastor, so I was basically raised in the church, surrounded by a faithful family. I attended church every Sunday, Sunday school and youth group as I grew up, and a Christian family camp every summer since I was born. I was the goody-two-shoes type of PK (aka Pastor's Kid) known as a Christian by everyone, and I loved every aspect of it!
Saying all of this does not, however, mean that my life has been without difficulties. I have struggled with times of doubt, confusion, the worry of not following God's plan, had to work through the death of a close friend from texting and driving, and overcome the suffocating feeling of fear, just to name a few. What I have noticed throughout it all was simply the love my God has for me no matter how crazy my thoughts can get. Even when I am up until 2 in the morning worrying about what would happen if I moved to L.A. for a job in film, met someone there, got married, started a family, and made it to where my family wouldn’t be able to see my kids often. True story, this really did happen one day in high school!
I never really realized how much fear was controlling my thoughts and decisions until the summer before my junior year of college. Following my second summer on staff for a Christian family camp I had about 2 weeks at home before I went back to school. While at a faith-based leadership summit with my parents I had a complete and total breakdown. With tears streaming down my face, between big heavy breaths I told my mom I didn’t want to go back to college. I wanted to drop everything in my life and come live at home.
Still to this day I have no idea where all of that came from, because the truth is, things were going well in my life. I loved college, my friends, my boyfriend who is now my husband. There was nothing prompting this panic attack, except for the overwhelming fear that had been building for years and finally broke free. Thankfully I have incredible parents who helped me calm down and convinced me to return to school. Though I was still unsure about life I drove those 4 hours to Wilmore, KY, settled into my apartment, and prepared for my Junior year.
A few days later I sat down to spend some time with the Lord because my feelings of dropping everything and everyone in my life decided they would stick around. I began by writing a letter to God and then felt the Holy Spirit speak to me, and suddenly my writing turned into a letter God was writing to me. He called me out on allowing the fear of the future and following the plan he had for me to overpower my trust in Him. He reassured me He was the author of my story and that He had my life in His hands. He encouraged me to hand over the fear of my future to Him and to simply trust in all He was doing in my life.
Ever since that day fear has not had the power over me that it used to. Don’t get me wrong, I still have moments, but I also know I have a loving, powerful father writing me a beautiful story. I know I can hand over my fear and anxiety to Him and He will help me through. On my confirmation day, when I took the step to declare my faith in front of my church as my own, my parents chose Jeremiah 29:11 as my confirmation verse and prayed it over me. This verse has become my life verse and it is always the beautiful reminder that I need. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jesus is all I need!
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