Our “Good” Verses His
Written by: Meredith Miller
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And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
- Romans 8:28 (NLT)
When I joined the Lane of Rose Writing Ambassador team about a year ago, I was in the midst of a struggle with infertility. I had been through all sorts of fertility treatments, none of which had worked. We were preparing to start IVF when I began this journey of writing to share the Gospel of Jesus through this very ministry.
To say I’ve wrestled with God throughout this process is an understatement. I have fought with Him, shouted at Him, expressed my anger and frustration with Him, gone silent on Him - you name it, I’ve done it. Infertility is a challenge to fit into the puzzle of all the things we know about God. He’s supposed to love us, He’s supposed to lavish blessings on us, He supposedly created us exactly as we are with all our deepest desires, so how does infertility fit into all of that?
When I began my journey with God through this season of life, I looked to Scripture for all of the examples of God promising to overcome a woman’s barrenness. There are quite a few:
Sarah: Genesis 11:30, 15:1-18:15, 21:1-7
Rebekah: Genesis 25:20-21
Rachel and Leah (who suffers secondary infertility): Genesis 29:31-30:24
Hannah: 1 Samuel 1:1-20
Elizabeth: Luke 1:5-25
I read their stories, looked at their faithfulness- and oftentimes lack thereof- and saw how God fulfilled the desires of their hearts and blessed them with a child. But the longer I spent suffering in infertility, the more these stories were warped by the enemy to convince me that something was wrong with me. Look how God came through for these women; why is He not coming through for me? How am I different from them?
I convinced myself that my faith wasn’t strong enough, that the evidence of faithlessness in my life was too great, and that God had deemed me unfit to be a mother. Something about me just didn’t measure up to these women and, therefore, I was not going to be blessed as they were.
If you have convinced yourself of something similar, please know that this is a lie from satan himself.
Look at Sarah: In the midst of her struggles, she gave up hope that God would answer her prayers and convinced her husband, Abraham, to have a baby with her servant so that she could be blessed as a mother through that child. God did not use this faithlessness to withhold a child from Sarah, and He is not doing it to you, either.
Lamentations 3:22-23 tells us that, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (NIV). God doesn’t hold yesterday’s shortcomings against us if we confess our sins to Him. Each morning, we get a fresh start to demonstrate our faithfulness to Him.
On the flip side of things, we can’t use the stories of these women as evidence that God will overcome every single woman’s infertility. We know He is capable, but we also know that it is not always His will. During my own struggle with infertility, this was the main thing I wrestled over with God. He had pressed Romans 8:28 on my heart in this season, which says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (NIV). Yet, I could not make sense of the idea that it was possible that never being a mom was part of God’s “good” plan for me.
God has shown me frequently in my life, though, that my idea of “good” doesn’t hold a candle to His idea of “good.” In our human minds, we are not capable of comprehending what “good” means to God. The Greek translation of “good” includes things like, “pleasant, joyful, happy, upright, honourable.” You may not be able to fathom a life of joy without a baby of your own to raise up in the faith. I’ve been there. But this verse promises us that God can use even that for His good, and it will be beyond your wildest dreams.
Have faith: God is capable of overcoming your infertility to give you your heart’s desire, but it is a guarantee that He will overcome your human idea of what is good to give you abundantly more than you could imagine in this life, no matter His plan for your family.
1. If you are currently struggling with infertility, how can you hand over your heart’s desire to God and trust that His plan will be worked out for good, no matter what?
2. If you yourself are not on this journey, it is likely that you know someone who is. 1 in 8 women suffer from infertility. How can you support the women in your life to believe that God’s plan for them will work out for good, no matter what?
3. If you don’t fall into either of these categories, think about your own personal struggles to believe that what God is doing in your life is truly good. How can you give that situation over to God and trust Him with it?
Dear Heavenly Father, we know that You are capable of so much more than we could imagine. Sometimes, that means You will overcome infertility. Other times, that means You will do something else amazing that we cannot even fathom right now. Help us to trust Your plan, no matter which way it takes us, and to trust that Your compassion for us will always be renewed even when our faith may fail us. In Your Son’s precious Name, Amen.
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