The Lies of Motherhood: That Mom has It All Together
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“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
- Proverbs 31:30
We watch her from afar and admire how she arrives at pre-school with her beautiful children, never tardy or in a tizzy. Their clothes perfectly pressed and every hair in place. She’s dressed and ready for her day, where she runs her own business, manages PTO at her oldest child’s school, and is team mom in the evenings for her son’s baseball team. Every photo on her social media is of her prestigious family, and you can see that she has her husband wrapped around her finger. You know her, don’t you? We all know one. That mom you look at and think, “Now, she’s got it going on!”
Little do you know, she’s a workaholic and her anxiety has a stronghold in her chest with every breath she takes. She spent the entire morning rushing her children around, losing her temper, and on the brink of tears just trying to make sure she didn’t forget the perfect lunches she had to fix, full of healthy alternatives. She’s financially burdened and stressed over the survival of her business. She has a hard time telling people “no,” especially when it comes to her kids, but dreads every committee she’s on because it only steals more time away from her family.
Most days she’s drowning, but she hides it behind a big smile and nice make-up. She’s the first one to say, “How are you?” so that it steals the focus off of herself, and her answers in return are only ever skin deep.
You think you know this mom. From the eye, everything looks to be in perfect working order, but when the lights go out at night, this mom cries herself to sleep wondering if she was enough today. Enough for her children, her husband, her business, but never enough for herself. Her question is never, “Did I allow God to fill my cup today?” because that would mean she had to make time to allow God to do much of anything in her life…and time is the one thing she doesn’t ever seem to have enough of.
Now this is certainly not the same in every scenario, but you get the idea. There is absolutely nothing shameful about rocking the life God gave you, but there must be balance. I know you’ve probably heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” But seriously, you can’t. It’s so easy to admire people for things we can’t seem to accomplish ourselves, especially when society often shames mothers no matter how they choose to parent. It’s hard being a mother today. But what if we changed the scope?
What if we began measuring who has it all together by God’s standards? God calls us, as mothers, to be stewards to our children. In Proverbs 22:6, His Word tells us that if we lead our children on the path of righteousness and raise them to stay true to that path, when they are old, they will not part from it.
That is enough. If you do that, you are doing enough as a mother. You are ensuring your children have a relationship with their Heavenly Father. You are establishing the foundation on which their entire future will stand. You don’t have to have some elaborate lifestyle to win God’s favor. His favor isn’t earned. He loves all of his children equally.
As a mother, and a Christian in general, you have to learn to give yourself grace. And in turn, you must extend that grace to others. If you see a mom in the grocery store, her children acting out and causing a ruckus, rather than passing judgment, turn and ask her if there’s anything you can help her with? Offer to unload her groceries for her. Let her know that every mother in the entire world has felt like a failure at some point in time, but that she is not alone, and none of us truly have it all together. Invite her to church. Give her a hug. Sometimes the smallest gestures are the ones that go the furthest.
1. What are some traits that God would find admirable in a mother, and how can you improve upon those traits, whether you have children now or not?
2. What measures have you taken to ensure your children have a solid foundation on which to build their relationship with Christ?
Dear Lord, I fail You daily. I look around and see so many things that I could do better, so many things that I could do differently. But Lord, I ask that You help me change my mindset. I ask that You help me to be confident in my Christian walk, so that my confidence in You extends to my children. I ask that You wrap Your loving arms around each mother, as they’re striving to do the best they can, and remind them that they are worthy, and beautiful, and enough. Enough for You, Lord, is simply enough. Enough for anything life throws our way. I love You, Lord, and I am so grateful that You’ve allowed me to be a mother, even when I feel I don’t deserve it. Thank You for everything You’ve done and continue to do for my family. Amen.
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