We Really Can Fall Apart With God
Written by: Krissie Stempuzis Wendel
I crunched on popcorn as my buttery fingers passed the container to the person beside me. I reached in my box searching for a Sour Patch kid, but couldn’t take my eyes off the screen to see if I had chosen a red one or not.
In a matter of 94 minutes, Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger had permanently etched their ways into my heart. I felt seen and accepted and by emoting characters in an animated film. I wanted to pick up my heavy baggage and run into their adorable colorful arms.
Inside Out. Have you ever done everything you could to make sure that what was on the inside never made its way out? I have. Have you ever wanted to take the weight you were carrying and run in the opposite direction of everyone, including God? I have.
Growing up, I can remember being called a “drama queen” any time I expressed how I was feeling, whether pleasant or unpleasant. For as long as I can remember I’ve felt wired to feel a lot. In fact, sometimes I think I feel everything. I’m not kidding when I tell people that my love language is GIFs and emojis y'all. So as a kid, the accusation of being labeled and called a drama queen led me to believe I should keep my emotions hidden from everyone. To not let what was on the inside ever get out.
The older I got, that unhealthy habit began eating away at my soul. I kept loved ones at a distance and God too. It seemed to me that other Jesus followers liked me better when I didn’t show them too much of the real me. I learned to mute my feelings and emotions because I believed they wanted the dialed down version of me, and I eventually began believing that God wanted me that way too.
Thankfully, spiritual maturity and over a decade of therapy later, I can JOYFULLY express that I am no longer stuck in that unhealthy cycle full of lies. I am no longer captive and freely run towards Christ with all my baggage.
God created you, and through faith in Jesus He’s already on the inside. He knows and loves all the parts of us. He’s not going anywhere and can handle anything (Psalm 139). God doesn’t just sit with us through it all. He’s our refuge and safe place through it all. We can trust Him with everything (Psalm 91:2).
You were made on purpose for a purpose by a God that guides and sustains us through ALL the feels and ALL the things. If we’re gonna run, let's be women that run faithfully to God with everything that we’ve got so that He can refine us with everything that He’s got.
What GIF or emoji expresses what you’re feeling today? And, what do you need to run to God with?
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